One of the principal dimensions of assertiveness is the ability to make contact with others succeeded in establishing personal relationships can protect not only our rights but also those of others.
Reaching out to the ‘other’, radically different from me and equally unique will always be a mystery, a fascinating journey to go on tiptoe, whose road is communication, which allows us to get close to people as long as there is an attitude of understanding and listening.
If we change we can try to look beyond appearances and run the risk of encountering the other in its depth and complexity. Look into his eyes and make him welcome him to the silence …..
Returning assertiveness it is one of those soft skills that allows us to recognize their emotions and needs and to communicate with others in mutual respect.
Here then is that the acquisition of an assertive style has to do with the development of a range of communication skills that can help you relate to others in a spontaneous, natural, authentic and satisfying.
Communication is very important and we must use in order for it to be really effective assertive. It often, however, is perceived as an event “happens” and on which you can exercise little control.
Although the language is regarded as the ultimate means of communication, the communication is not just words, there are many non-verbal and para-verbal essential for mutual understanding which often are best suited to convey what you want to express.
Verbal communication involves the use of the word, through which we express the content of our actions, that is what I do and how I want to do it.
The non-verbal communication is conducted through the expressions of the body, the set of all those signals that pass through gestures, facial expression, facial expressions and is the emotional content of communication. In telling anything with our hands move, can cross our arms, our legs can overlap or be comfortably stretched out, our eyes can find the gaze or look elsewhere, our face can convey the excitement on the content of speech, such as anger or joy, happiness, surprise ….
The para-verbal communication is represented by way of speaking, tone, rhythm, speed of speech. In general, an anxious person tends to speak more quickly and with a higher tone, unlike a depressed person will speak more slowly and with a tone lower.
Let us now turn to some of the verbal communication and strategies to encourage the recruitment of a more assertive:
Use of personal pronouns: it is a good idea to increase our assertiveness making statements that begin with “I” in order to take full responsibility for our statements and actions.
Change the verbs using the more restrictive rules: try putting in place of “can not” “I will not do” so, again, to take full responsibility for what in reality you and / or can not do. Replace “I need” to “want” to distinguish desire from need. Use “I choose …” instead of “I” and “I” instead of “I” to emphasize the full awareness and conviction of what it says.
Go to the active passive attitude: a person plays a passive role when it is convinced that the right things happen to her, as if he were the victim of a cruel world. Becoming more assertive also means recognizing that we are responsible for what happens to us. So it is better to say: “I beg people to take advantage of me and makes me angry,” rather than: 2 what happens to me, makes me angry. ”
Change the statements in questions: questions like “Do not you think? ..” are often implicit and sometimes manipulative ways to say “what I think is …”. To be assertive with yourself and then with others, it is good to make statements clear and direct.
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